The Status of a "Name"

So I was thinking about names today....I'm not exactly sure why or how but I thought about it a bit and thought I would try to talk it out instead of just sit there and think about it......

When your born, your given a name...A Parent might choose a name with a spiritual meaning, a heritage name from a family member...but they give you a name.

We live our whole lives with our name, and for some reason your name gets associated with your personality and who you are or who your suppose to be....either way...in every day society, we are looked at for our name and it's used with everything you do.

People will remember a name and remember a specified thing...like Charles Manson, when you hear that name the first thing you remember and associate the name with is serial killer.
The actual facts of the behavior have been only associated with the name....you hear it, your first thought enters your head. Your name will either be remember by the way you lived your life and the things you did while you where alive or the other way people will always remember you by is maybe the way you have passed to the next life.

One thing I do know, is when someone close to you passes away..one important thing to you is that people will always remember that someone. And for some time you will do everything just to make sure that people that don't forget that person. That the name won't be forgotten. I carry the first name of my stillborn sister, the middle name of my uncle's first name. My daughter carries the first name of my mother and the middle name of my mother...she was born directly after my mom's passing. My son carries the middle name of my cousin James and my cousin Amanda carries my middle name after her father. It's not just about the title, you also want to carry on a legacy.

In all the people I have lost, known and looked up too, when naming my kids, it was indeed like that for me. But the passing of a loved one does seem to hold the most value if you looked up to them and thought they deserved the name to be carried on. In losing my mom, I wanted people to remember her for the wonderful soul she was. I want the same for my grandfather. But I soon realized people won't remember his/her name for that simply, but by the way they had passed away..and the life they lived, the people they were....and that is satisfying enough because their names will live forever in all those who knew them and those who didn't. They have become even more known after their passing for these facts. I think its one of my worst fears...I think some of us think about it as we live....will we be remembered for our strengths, for our passion, for the way we lived our life....will someone want to name another after us....or will we just be the name....

I don't want to be a name...I want the name to mean something.....if I could choose...strength, love, compassion, honor, a good heart, truth and knowledge.....

I choose not to be just a name.