My Family Disowned Me???

Just so you all get the immature and ridiculous nature of this post.....here is how it all went down and yes it did happen....I didn't think such a thing could happen but it did.....

Yesterday I had plans, first thing in the morning to go to one of my best friends childrens birthday parties. As I was preparing to get ready to go, I got a call from my Aunt who wanted to plan to come up to our house to see us. I didn't know how I was going to fit it all in but with my recent surgeries, I was going to have to miss a family gathering out of town because I am not well enough to go, where my family was also going to lay flowers down for my grandfather for memorial day. This was hard for me, because I wanted to go...emotionally and physically, I was devistated to have this recent surgery stop me from being able to go and see my papa and be with my family.

Anyway, It made me want to shorten my plans eagerly for them to be able to come up and see us and the kids, with the permission of my friend Kristi, who I had existing plans with. She was very understanding, knowing what I have been through and knowing I wouldn't be able to go this weekend to lay flowers down, she understood how bad I wanted to see my family before their departure.

Anyway, My Grandma, my aunt, uncle, and some of my grandmothers dearest friends were going to come up after visiting Chuchchansi and playing some card games, to allow me to attend the birthday party and have some time to clean up a little for their arrival. I was in the gold....I was so excited. Dane got off work early to go shopping for food....I cleared with my Aunt that they wouldn't be staying for dinner but they would be coming for a visit to see us and my grandma and her friends would be staying for dinner. We cleaned the whole house, make a great dinner, set up twinkle lights and had the kids all dressed and ready for their arrival.

I don't want to go into all the details, but to make a long story short...they never showed...none of them. I left several messages for my aunt, who claims she didn't get the calls or text messages, but on the contrary...that isn't the point in my eye. In my eye, I shouldn't of had to call anyone....it broke my heart and if none of them were coming....why didn't I receive a call.

I called my aunt, on my disappointment, as it was her I confirmed the plans with. I had a house full of food ready and my children jumping with excitement asking why no one came and, to tell you the God Honest truth, I was hurt...more than I had been in a long time. There have been many times of disappointment with friends or family, but this hurt a lot more than I expected.

For those who know me, I've lost my mom, my grandfather in a matter of two years, my Cousin Brittany who I raised and loved like a child of my own and a lot of friendships due to not having time to be out and about with them all the time. I am a stay at home mom and its tough getting out with two kids. On top of that, in the last two months, I have had two surgeries that have limited my availability to do a lot or see the ones I love. Its been hard. I can't get around so easy these days and so it starts to feel lonely, tiring and very very frustrating.

Maybe I shouldn't of called my aunt...I did go off on her voicemail. I didn't use foul language or say anything to the nature of "I don't love you" or "I never want to see you again". I addressed the pain I felt in being told that my family really wanted to see me and instead, they went out without me and what felt like.... well it felt like they forgot about me, or I just didn't matter that much. I felt little and I was upset. I told her that I didn't like that she didn't call me and I cried on her voicemail and told her it wasn't fair, I had went through a lot of trouble and that I didn't want to hear from her that night because I was too upset. She was like a mom to me once and I didn't understand but I wasn't happy with no one telling me they weren't coming....it wasn't the right thing to do as a family.

She called me and per my request, I didn't want that.....I wasn't ready to hear excuses or problems....it didn't matter to me at the time...what did matter was telling my kids no one showed and cleaning up the mess from dinner and sitting alone the rest of my night trying to deal with my own feelings (dispair, lonliness, and feeling like they didn't care about me). I needed time but she called. In her defense, she says she had never talked to me the way I talked to her....she's right. She tried to explain and I told her "I didn't care". It wasn't the nice thing to say but I didn't...it was honest. In my defense, she never got the chance to talk to me like that because I ALWAYS SHOWED UP.....my biggest pet peive in the world...making plans and taking someones day and then not following through.

Anyway, after all said and done...I received the most immature, disrespectful call I could of gotten from anyone, much less someone I considered a father to me....my uncle. He told me to "shut up" and listen he was talking....told me I was wrong to talk to my aunt that way and then he brought my kids into it for some odd reason....said he had done more for my kids than I have ever done for his....told me he wanted me to stay away from his kids, his family, his home and that he never wanted to see me again......I broke down, trying to tell him that this was ridiculous and out of bounds, that it was about not showing up and tried to explain what my conversation was with my Aunt....now realizing his was mislead on information.....

Either way, I don't care. I will stay away from them....I respect their decisions...I respected them once. I don't know what happened but I think it will be hard to forgive....how do you tell a family member something like that over dinner.....a dinner I made for them that they didn't come to....I might of been upset and said things I shouldn't of but I would of never....and I have never been talked to like that. I get we all go through things but what a terrible thing to do. I can't and won't say I am better off.....I won't be....but I won't put my kids in the middle of an adult situation where they feel someone can just disown them over something so petty and stupid. They have already lost too many people in their life....maybe I deserved it but they didn't. My family should have never said such a thing.

why is it we can't just call someone and say "I'm sorry".....that's it...leave it there....when we can be strong enough to do that...look where things end up. I know I might be partially responsible...I hold what I did to its standard....I shouldn't of called when I was upset. But on contrary, can one of you tell me, you wouldn't of felt the same?

I still would never disown someone.
Guess I'll just add their photos to the list of the people I've lost now.......
I don't have time to sulk.....I have two kids to raise...with or without their love and support.....I take pride in that even if it's all the family I have left!!!!